Mission: Subway
by M.D. Owen
Summary: Leonardo and Michelangelo are on a very important mission and must not let their family down!


_Story help: Connie Nervegas. We love our Subway sammiches._

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"You have Raph's, April's, yours, and Splinter's; I have Don's, Casey's, and then mine."

Leo pulled the strings tight around his hoodie. "I have four and you have three. How is that fair, Mikey?"

"Dude! I trust you with the picky ones!" Mikey opened the door and allowed Leo to go first. "If we screw this up, they'll never trust us again! Your shell is showing, Bro."

"Oh, thanks."

Leo straightened the back of his large hoodie and almost jumped when a female voice dryly greeted, "Hi, welcome to Subway."

Mikey inhaled deeply and pushed the air out of his nostrils dramatically, "Smell it, Leo! The fresh bread, cookies, and meat! All the wonderful toppings! Delicious cheese, cold cuts, and BACON! I gotta get bacon. Do they have a bacon subway? Just all bacon? Even bacon bread?"

"Stay focused, Mikey. We have to do this right. You got the list? I gave it to you. You're supposed to have the list."

Mikey grinned. "Got in my back pocket. You gave it to me two hours ago. It took that long because Don kept changing and Casey forgot where we were going."

Leo nodded to the cashier and held up his finger to signal their disorganization; he was highly embarrassed. "Mikey! She's waiting. It's 1am and we have a bunch of starving people. The worker probably wants to get ready to go home."

Three beeps trilled from Mikey's phone. "I bet that's Don. Changing again. Why can't he make up his mind?" He dug out his phone and clicked through the messages, reading them aloud, "Actually put a touch of mayo and have the artist shake the salt and paper – I think he meant pepper – about three times. That's the right amount. Please make mine before Raph's or at least have the artist change their gloves before doing mine. Thank you."

Leo shook his head, "Then I'll go first."

"There's more," Mikey chuckled and bit on his tongue, grinning widely, "I would like to try the Monterrey cheddar bread. Hold the cheese."

"So he doesn't want the flatbread?" Leo had taken out a pen and was scribbling on the list. The front door chimed and a grumpy elder man entered.

"Guess not. There's one more. It's from Casey." Mikey turned back to the car and then read the text. "He's asking if we're through." Mikey held up his arms and shook his head to Casey outside. "I think he just threw a fit in the car."

Leo sighed and stuffed his pen back in the hoodie. He turned to the other customer and bowed, "Please go ahead of us, sir. We are nowhere near ready or organized. Apologies about my indecisive family." The grumpy man curled his face and stepped to the counter, proceeding with his order.

Between the two ninjas, things got a little more organized under Leo's constant supervision. Mikey thought it was amusing that they could fight criminals and stop illegal smuggling, but they couldn't do simple things, like ordering sandwiches. The cashier and grumpy customer both gave Mikey disturbing looks, and he flashed his best smile at them.

Leo groaned, "I'm ready to get this over with. Why are we eating so late anyways? What's wrong with making sandwiches at the house?"

"It's Saturday night and we always get take out, but Raph and Casey usually get it. I'm tired of my food always being smashed because they stop to fight thugs. Hi, how are you doing?" Mikey faced the cashier and flattened his list.

Leo straightened the corners of his paper and confessed, "I think I found ashes in my veggie burger. I bet Raph did it. I don't know if I should be angrier about that or the fact he's smoking again." He smiled at the cashier and continued, "Nice night. Thank you for doing a great service to our community."

"Leo, she makes sandwiches, not clean up the streets and adopt homeless people!" Mikey peered into the glass and surveyed the food. "I think I might try the sprinkle cheese tonight. Are you paying? I hope so because I left my wallet at home. Actually I think I lost it when we fought that weird mutated bear and llama mix. Yeah, that was a trip. I couldn't tell what kind of sound it made as Raph got a chainsaw to it. I think it had orange blood."

The cashier seemed interested in his story rather than asking for his order; the grumpy customer stopped pouring ice into his cup.

"Mikey, I'll go first," Leo stepped to the glass and held up his list. "Miss, I would like pickles on -"

"Are you getting a six inch or footlong?" her voice tired and slightly annoyed. She hadn't even looked up at him.

"Footlong on all of these orders, please, and we have about seven orders. Can I look at your eyes? You have nice eyes," Leo bowed. The cashier looked at him like he asked her to meet him out back and drop her pants.

She continued, lip curving, "What kind of bread?"

"This is April's so wheat, please. She would like a cold cut combo, hold the cheese."

"Heated or toasted?"

"None, please."

Mikey had the look of evil in his eyes. "I want mine burned like that guy from last week!" Four beeps from the phone. "Donny make up your mind! He went back to the flatbread with american cheese! I can't keep up with this! He's getting whatever I want him to get!" The phone was turned off. "I hope he doesn't get mad that I ignored his messages." He got the phone back out of his pocket and turned it on. "I better tell him I'm sorry."

Leo had his eye on the menu. "For myself, may I have a salad, please?"

A honk blared outside but nobody took the time to notice except Mikey. It was New York City, the land of the Horn. "Casey must be hungry. There's no way we can get all these orders in under five minutes. What a crybaby."

Leo's list went back up. "Okay for Splinter -"

"Dude, I think he wanted McDonald's."

Leo stopped, looking mystified. "Really? I thought we all agreed to come here? Should we call him?"

"Everybody was screaming for Subway, but I can remember him saying that he was having a craving for a cheeseburger because he was watching the All Soaps channel and they had a commercial and said you could get three cheeseburgers for 1.99 and he said he wanted it but never talked loud so I guess I was the only one who heard him." Mikey outlined a picture of a cheeseburger on the glass. "So Splinter wants a cheeseburger. I guess. Did you hear him? I thought he was talking to himself. He could have been because he does that a lot."

Leo looked at the cashier for an answer, but she shrugged.

"Do you have a cheeseburger sub?" Leo sweetly asked and the cashier stepped back slightly.

"We have the steak and cheese sub."

"Perfect. You have been so helpful. We thank you so much!" Glowing smile from Leo. Mikey snorted and called him an amateur. "Now," Leo pointed back to the glass with his sunshine smile disappearing, "One of our brothers is a bottomless pit. This next sandwich, put everything on it. Everything. I'm sorry for his gluttonous ways."

"What kind of bread?"

"The one with the most calories. Heat and toast it, I suppose. Every cheese, meat, and condiments."

When the cashier completed the sandwich, she struggled closing it and pieces of lettuce and meat dropped to the floor.

"Just pick it up and put it back on," Mikey dismissed and looked irritated. Leo shot a glare at him and politely asked the weary cashier to get off the floor and discard the food into the trash.

Mikey shouted, "That's customer service. She'll do anything you tell her!"

The grumpy customer left the store because of the noise. Mikey waved at him and told him to come back to Subway.

The Beast Sandwich was a sloppy and unhealthy mess but was wrapped neatly, ready for Raphael's insatiable appetite. The cashier chuckled and loosened up after having Leo say that she looked like Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. They started talking about their favorite parts in the movie, but Mikey was ready to explode with sandwich happiness.

"Hello, Hungry Man here! I got to watch my sugar!"

Galadriel cutely asked Leo, "So is this your sandwich?"

"Oh no no!" he laughed and touched the counter. "I take care of my body. It's the only one I have and I mustn't disrespect it."

"I like that in a man."

Mikey pointed to the breads and talked loudly, "I would like two footlongs, both Monterrey cheddar, and then a flatbread, PLEASE. You gotta do what I say, remember!"

Galadriel gave him a dirty look. Mikey had interrupted her smooth moves.

"Leo likes to suck his thumb and hold a teddy bear!" He stuck his tongue out at Leo, who could have died from embarrassment.

"Me too!" Galadriel smugly declared and grabbed the breads out of the oven. "I like sweet, sensitive men."

"Then you need a baby, not a man," Mikey wrinkled up his beak and looked down at the cheese. "By the way, Leo doesn't have battle nexus champion as his middle name. I'll take meatballs on mine. Casey wants the big philly cheesesteak. I want to save room for six cookies and I think I'll have milk this time."

"We're not getting drinks, Mikey!" Declined Leo as he grabbed his wallet. "Just sandwiches."

"And cookies!"

The fearless leader sighed. "And cookies."

As the cashier finished Casey's sandwich, Mikey took a huge breath and had a zen moment.

"What are you doing?" Leo was reading the nutritional content of a Frito Lays bag.

"I'm channeling Donatello and what he wants on his sandwich," Mikey hummed and inhaled the world.

Leo put down the bag and looked at a gift card. "Donatello is one with your phone. Just look at it."

"I'm testing my memory!"

"This might not be a good time to train, especially on that man's sandwich."

Galadriel created a flatbread sandwich with american cheese, two pieces of bacon and tomatoes, and three shakes of the salt and pepper. She almost put lettuce on it, but Mikey had a field of cows and screamed at her to take it off before Don jumped into the store and killed them all.

"You have a very nice night, miss," Leo oozed when the purchase was completed. Galadriel wrote her number on the back of Leo's list.

Casey wasn't happy when they returned to the car. "What in the hell took so long? I'm starving! Give me my sandwich! How much do I owe you?"

"Leo got that woman's number and has the cheesiest hook up lines ever!" Mikey handed Casey his sandwich and almost lost a hand in the process.

"She's waving at me from the door. That's so sweet of her!" Leo waved back and crammed the list into his pocket. "Let's get home and eat."

On the drive home, Mikey thumbed through his messages and gave a resounding battle cry. Casey nearly steered the car into a group of drunk teens. "I got Donny's sandwich right! WOOHOO! I'll text him now. He'll be proud of me!"

Click, click, beep, beep. Silence.

"Oh, shit."

"Oh shit what?" Leo cautiously asked.

"I didn't see Raph's message because of all of Don's. He said hold the mayo."

"Great. Just great! Thanks, Mikey!"

Casey ate his sandwich while driving and said with a mouth full, "You know how Raph and mayo are. Like a match made on the can!"

Leo sighed, "And I won't hear the end of it. He'll throw it out and I'll give up my salad for my brother. Stop by McDonald's. I feel like a cheeseburger."


End file.
